(& it’s ok to need a “village” too.)
I never understood the “It takes a village,” until now. I entered a season that has blessed, shaken, and humbled me. I thought I could do it on my own, for the most part anyway. It has always been hard for me to ask for help. “If I ask for help, they are going to think I am a bad mom.” “If I ask for help, I’M going to think I’m a bad mom.” “If I ask for help, I am putting them out, and they will only do it because they feel like they have to.” “If I ask for help, I will feel like a failure.” I had to tell those voices in my head that they were a bunch of lies, and bring myself to reality.
It’s. Ok. To. Ask. For. Help. Read that again. IT’S. OK. TO. ASK. FOR. HELP.
Honestly, I wish I would’ve grasped that concept earlier in my parenting journey. When it was just my first 2, I really could’ve used help, but it was totally doable. You add a 3rd baby to the equation, and it goes from multitasking normal-ish crazy, to full-blown moments of catastrophic chaos. You can time-manage all you want to, but sometimes schedules physically will not allow you to do all the things required in a calendar day. That’s not your fault. That’s not anyone’s fault. It is what it is, and unless you hire help, you have to ask for it.
It’s. Ok. To. Say. Yes. To. Help. Read that again. IT’S. OK. TO. SAY. YES. TO. HELP.
I had a friend offer to come stay with the babies, in case there was anything I needed to do. This was on her day off from work on a Friday. How many times have you known you have a handful of things on your list, and someone asks you that, but you reply with, “Awww thank you so much, but I am ok! I really appreciate your offer though!” Well, I told my friend “yes, please,” as I had a hair appointment a couple weeks ago. This was a much-needed hair situation, by the way. But seriously, just say yes! You need you-time sometimes!
It’s. Ok. To. Need. A. Village. Read that again. IT’S. OK. TO. NEED. A. VILLAGE.
My village truly came through for me yesterday at my oldest child’s soccer game. My hubby is away hunting in the mountains on a trip I surprised him with….of course, I HAD to choose it on the only weekend with a double soccer game, no available babysitters, and grandparents that were unavailable. I had a friend from the soccer team of my mom-village texting that she’d meet me at the car when I got there to help with the overload of wagon, stroller, chairs, cooler, umbrella, toys that will never make it back home, and of course the 2 babies. I had another friend taking hawk-eyed ownership of my 2-year-old, who will truly give you a RUN for your money….it also allowed me to breathe, knowing he was in good hands. Another friend would take the baby off my hands every chance she could, to help give me a break, and of course for extra baby snuggles! She also captured the moment of a lifetime on video. The game was live. I was conveniently breastfeeding, when my toddler decided to take off down the hill, full force. Well what do you do? You just have to chase him down with a baby on the boob. You do what you gotta do!
Thank. You. To. My. Village. I. Could. Not. Do. This. Without. You. Read that again. THANK. YOU. TO. MY. VILLAGE. I. COULD. NOT. DO. THIS. WITHOUT. YOU! No, seriously, I need y’all!
Moral of the story…..it’s ok to need help. It’s ok to ask for help. It’s ok to accept help. You know you’d do the same, so let someone do that for you! Also, another moral to the story, is to hire a sibling of one of the soccer players, and pay them $20 to babysit your toddler. But do it BEFORE you’re breastfeeding the baby, or you might risk a bit of mama-blooper nip slip! 😬 #awkward