Jesus, take the wheel…..No, seriously, I really need you to please take the wheel because I’m about to fall asleep on the road going to Target pickup, and the pharmacy for the millionth time to get everything Google tells me will help my sick boy feel better. Is there a word that describes a feeling greater than total and complete exhaustion? You can see it in my eyes that I am barely hanging on.
“Season,” they say…. “This is just a season.” If I was cooking, I would “season” my food to give it extra flavor. But if I “season” it too much, the flavor is overbearing and way too aggressive. If I don’t “season” it enough, it’s not gonna work out so well. If only I could make adjustments to this “season” I am living in now.
They say, “You’re going to look back and miss this time so much.”
They say, “Don’t blink.”
Again, they say, “It’s just a season.”
Well, “they” are right……But, WOW, this is a tough one!
Between my 12-year-old middle schooler, 2-year-old boy who is, well, a 2-year-old boy, and our newest baby boy with special needs, this mama is EXHAUSTED! I couldn’t wait for school to start again, but now I realize that between the 45-minute drive to middle school and pre-k, and multiple doctors or therapy appointments, I am on the road approximately 20+ hours each week, and that doesn’t include soccer games, youth group, and other preteen taxi-needed activities. When I am not in the mom-mobile, I am working with our youngest in various therapies. When I’m not doing that, I am wrangling 1 or both of my 2 under 2 children to nap, diaper change, or bribe/beg someone to eat in the 10-minute window I always seem to be limited to prior to psycho-rushing out the door. Did I pack her shin guards? Did I grab the new sippy cup from this morning, or the one I found under the couch from last month? Did I get a cover blanket so I can hide my boobs when I’m awkwardly breastfeeding my infant in front of random men sitting at the park. (No seriously, that really happened this morning and it sure cut our park visit short!) Did I put the million appointments I made this morning into our “shared” family calendar…..(which is useless, because my husband never ever ever pays attention to it!) Did I turn the curling iron off that I didn’t have time to use because I never have time for ME to get ready? Did I shut the garage door? (Ugh, that’s a big one, and I generally have to turn around and double check, which is pointless because it’s always shut when I do). It. Never. Ends.
The sacrifices a mom makes for her kids is pretty incredible.
I would not change it for the world, but I sure didn’t realize the extent of those sacrifices when planning to expand our family.
Here are just a few gems. I can’t eat dairy because it makes the baby’s tummy hurt. Cheese is my FAVORITE food, and Reese’s are my ultimate favorite treat. Both dairy no-no’s. I feel the “coolest” when I’m driving around in my bright red, jacked-up, Rebel truck. Well, I had to pass it on to my husband so I could get a mom-mobile, soccer mom SUV. That’s jacked up….but not in the cool truck way. I had to put my music career on hold because I literally don’t have an ounce of time to spare between all 3 children, and 4, including my husband who needs me way more than he realizes. I’ve never had so many anticipated pampering appointments set, to have to cancel due to either one of the kids are sick, or my husband decides he HAS to go to a “oh so important fantasy football draft that he is the prestigious commissioner of.” If he would’ve checked our shared family calendar app, he would’ve seen that evening was already booked by an overworked, underpaid, exhausted mama. Did I say exhausted already? I forgot to say the sacrifice of sleep. When your baby, who needs more than normal nutrients, wants to eat, and it happens to be in the late hours of the night, you just do it.
Sacrifice. I would sacrifice over and over again for my babies. But I get a free pass to vent sometimes.
Again, I wouldn’t change it for the world! But you better believe I, and every one of you mamas out there, are allowed to vent when you need! Sure, there are times when my delivery method is probably not the best….sorry hubby. But all I’m saying, is, don’t hold it in. You don’t have to hide in the closet and cry by yourself.
You don’t have to pretend like everything is ok.
Pray. Call a friend. Call your mom. You can also wait until your husband comes home from the 3rd fantasy football draft this week, and really vent….but you may want to select a less catastrophic time.
Give yourself a break, especially when you’re about to break because you haven’t had a break.
Mama, you are everything to those babies. Your job is more important than any job you could ever imagine. You were chosen to be the one and only person that can do the exact things you are doing for your babies. You are amazing and perfect just the way you are!
They say, “You’re going to look back and miss this time so much.”
They say, “Don’t blink.”
They say, “It’s just a season.”
I say, “they” are right, and you are going to survive this, and every season that comes your way. It’s gonna be hard. It’s gonna be amazing. You will cry. You will laugh. You will scream. You will thrive. You will survive. May every single hardship that you encounter make you stronger and stronger! May you have many more laughs than tears. May you embrace every moment that’s in front of you now, and in the future! May you be blessed beyond measure!! You’ve got this!!
Yes, K you’ve got this!! God chose you to be their mama! And what an inspirational mama you’ve been! God chose you and your “village”. I can’t explain why it didn’t work out for you tonight, but I feel there has to be a reason (or His plan). All I can say is God chose you (but it’s so hard to understand why you don’t get free passes like daddy, like fantasy football or hunting obligations, etc etc) and I feel He chose you because you are strong, loving, kind and you work so hard with Gibson, there was no one else who could do this much, so He chose you. You’re my best friend and I know, or a…